You Can't Run From the Hard Stuff

I’m not gonna lie, today is a tougher message. It’s all about how you can’t run from the hard stuff if you want to truly be happy. You have to learn to be okay with the uncomfortable. You have to work through things and get to the other side.

We live in a time where people* don’t want to work too hard for things, and they want things handed to them. We also live in a time where people run away from things that are difficult. They get discouraged when life tosses them hardships.

I get it! Who wouldn’t want an easy life? But let’s be honest, we were never promised an easy life. If someone sold you the lie that adulthood was going to be easy all the time, march on over to them and get your money back.

Now, I am not saying that adulthood is horrible. I would rather be an adult than a teenager again any day. What I am saying is that it can throw us for some loops. Bills can pile up, and budgeting can be difficult. Relationships can be difficult to navigate which is apparent since marriage numbers over the years are down. Divorce numbers are also down, but not drastically. They used to say 50% of marriages end in divorce, but my research is showing that might be closer to 43%. 

Adulthood is filled with added responsibility and stress. Since many of us are going through it single, whether by choice or chance, that means we don’t have anyone with whom to share the burden. As if that isn’t enough, as we age, we seem to increase our likelihood of getting some kind of disease or chronic illness. 

But it isn’t all horrible! Being an adult also means we have more freedom and we get to make our own choices. Those two things alone are huge and absolutely wonderful! I don’t know about you, but I like making decisions for myself. Sure, that can sometimes add stress, but it is better than having someone dictate what you do and when you do it. 

We have all heard the saying “When life gives you lemons…”, and we all know that it certainly will. My question is what are you going to do about it? Are you going to sit there and whine and talk about how horrible everything is? Or are you going to take action? Are you going to take those sour lemons and turn them into something sweet? Everyone knows that you could make some lemonade, but you could also make some lemon blueberry bread to go with your tasty lemonade, and then you could invite some friends over for tasty treats and talk time.   

The more we take these sour moments and work through them we learn to persevere and we develop grit. Then future moments that are difficult start to not always look so overwhelming. I guess you could say we become more confident in our ability to handle these situations. Also, going through hard times helps us develop empathy for others who are going through difficult situations. Empathy is a great thing to have in life!

Obviously, we don’t really develop these attributes by baking bread, but we can do this by taking time to talk things over with trusted friends who give wise advice. Here are a few other ways that we can actually make difficult moments better:

• Acknowledging the situation that you are facing

• Take care of your most basic physical needs–get sleep, eat, drink water, etc

• Seek counseling

• Be open to change

• Be patient

• Accept situations as well as unanswered questions

• Grieve losses

If you want true happiness, do not ignore your problems. Do not turn to alcohol or drugs to help numb your pain and frustration. Trust me when I say that these options don’t work. They just complicate the situation and usually make things much worse. This can sometimes seem enticing, but it really just prolongs the inevitable. While facing our struggles head on is hard, it also builds character traits that help us become a happier individual, and that is a win! 

*Please note that my use of people does not mean everyone. It does, however, mean a good majority. I admit that I have fallen into that group myself at times.