Spend Quality Time With Family and Friends

Today we are going to talk about one of my favorite ways to find happiness and that is spending quality time with family and friends. Spending time with people who encourage, support, and uplift you is good for your soul. Added bonus if you are comfortable enough around them that you can sit and silence or laugh together like hyenas. 

Now, if you were with me on day 1 of this series, you will remember that I said you can’t place your happiness in another person’s pocket. That is absolutely true! Relationships with other people are meant to add to our lives, but we have to be able to stand on our own two feet. We have to be able to be happy without those people if something were to happen.

I am 100% a people person! I love to hang out with my family and friends. They enrich my lives in a multitude of ways, and I do my very best to do the same for their lives. However, people can move away, relationships can face strains, and people pass away. In other words, life happens. So, you have to be careful about placing all of your hopes and dreams into another person.

I am sure I am stressing this because I am a widow, and many of you might think I am overstating this fact. I do not believe that I am though. I have talked to many women who were absolutely wrecked after a divorce or the death of their spouse. Some felt that they didn’t have anything to live for. I have also talked to women who really struggled when their children started to move away in their 20’s. This transitional phase caused them to question who they were and to face so much uncertainty about their future. 

Obviously, these things are going to influence your lives greatly. You can’t form relationships with others and not be impacted when big life events happen. However, after giving yourself time to grieve, and yes, we grieve more things than death, you have to be able to move forward. You have to be able to continue to enjoy life in spite of the loss and changes you have gone through.

So, please, do not shy away from wonderful people or relationships. There is so much joy to be had in relationships. Truly, I can’t imagine life without my people! However, always keep in mind that one person or a couple of people can not be your everything. That isn’t healthy. Okay, I will get off of that soapbox for now. Promise!   

Friendships are so important in helping us truly be happy because they keep us from feeling isolated and lonely. They also give us a sense of belonging. When I am sitting around a dinner table, laughing with a bunch of ladies that understand each other, the weight of the world doesn’t seem all that heavy. Not to mention that sometimes one of those ladies will offer up some insight or encouragement that makes the difficulties I am going through a little easier. 

Now, some of you might be thinking, I need to get friends like that. Yes, you do! Adult friendships are tricky. Time is limited, demands are great, but I promise you that it is beneficial to make the time for quality friendships. You don’t have to let everyone in, but try to set aside time for a select few on a regular basis.

Here are a few tips on how to nurture adult friendships…

1. Kindness–If you know me personally, you know how I feel about kindness. It is the most important thing in all relationships…always! Be kind to yourself, be kind to your friends, and be kind to strangers. There is no quicker way to deepen a friendship than by showing kindness in my opinion. If I have limited time to spend with friends because of my job, family, and life’s demands, you better believe I am going to only choose kind people to spend that time with. Why would I choose to be around a person who treats me poorly? Am I wrong? Now, I won’t be rude to the unkind person, but I am not going to invest in our relationship. So, if you want to nurture friendships, lead with kindness. 

2. Golden Rule–We all know it, “Treat people the way you want to be treated.” In other words, be the friend you want to have. Yes, this goes along with kindness, but it is more than that. Do you want a friend that forgives you? Well, then forgive your friend when they mess up. Do you love when friends suggest fun events? Then try to do that for your friends once in a while. Do you like when your friends actively listen to you? Do the same for them. Think about what you want from a friend, and then flip it around and be that way for your friends. 

3. Favorite Things–You don’t have to be a creepy stalker, but try to remember things that your friends mention they like...and dislike. I have a bad memory, so sometimes, I will jot down notes when my family or friends mention their favorite things. Nothing wrong with this! Attention to detail makes others feel appreciated, so pay attention. This info can come in handy for birthdays, Christmas, or when they buy a new home. 

4. Prioritize–Life is busy! When you are trying to coordinate 2 or more people’s schedules, it can get real difficult, real fast. So, try to be purposeful and prioritize getting a day on the calendar. How often? That is really up to you and your friends. I have some friends that I see weekly, and I have others that I am lucky to get to hang with 2 or 3 times a year. It’s not because I love some friends more than others. Sometimes it is because of where we live, other times it is because of life's demands. The point is to at least be making time, and when you can’t physically be together, check in by texting or calling. 

Remember that relationships are meant to help you bring true happiness to your life, so connect with family and friends often. As you do, work on enhancing their lives, and watch how your life winds up being impacted in the process. I think you will be pleasantly and joyfully surprised!

#happiness #qualitytime #family #friends #kindness